“One day I asked a passionate and healthy young woman: ‘How can one find out if one is in love? It is also possible to want to take your mother in your arms and kiss her, isn’t it?’ She explained: ‘When you kiss your lover, you want him to die of your kisses and you want to disappear into him (she used another very characteristic word) etc.,’ – there is an infinity of expressions. The most elevated instincts always present themselves as murderous instincts. To begin with there is the little brother who calls the kitten: ‘Puss! Puss! My little darling! I love you! I am going to torture you and make you die!’; besides there is the well-known fact that lovers love to tease and torment each other, and moreover there is martyrdom and crimes of passion. Everywhere you see the pleasure involved in destroying and dying.” (Sabina Spielrein, 2001, p. 160)
Spielrein, S. (2001). Unedited extracts from a diary (1906/1907?). Journal of Analytical Psychology, 46, 155–171.
Suggested citation: Fugard, A. (2025, September 22). How can one find out if one is in love? [blog post]. https://andifugard.info/how-can-one-find-out-if-one-is-in-love/
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